When I stepped onto your carousel

I never realized that there would never be a way off.

That I would be forever stuck spinning in circles

Around and around again.

I remember the day I met you

I can close my eyes and instantly be transported

To that living room packed with people

when our eyes met from across the…

When you left and slammed the door shut behind you

I was trapped inside a windowless room

Closed off from everyone and everything

Feeling unworthy, unloved and alone

Searching for…

I never realized how badly you treated me

Until I had to speak the words out loud

Until I had to explain to someone

What happened between us

As I…

Knowing

There are certain things I know

The sky is blue

The grass is green

The sun is yellow

And there are things I don’t know.

Things that I should…

After

I no longer remember the before

Just the after.

You transformed me.

Changed me.

Into this new person — who forgets who she once was

Before is such a…

Aren’t you tired?

of playing this silly game.

Constantly spinning in the same circle

over and over again.

Don’t you want to stop playing games

and just be…. yourself.

Why…

Like most people in their late 20s, I’m still trying to figure so much out (while feeling like I’m falling so far behind).

I’m trying to figure out who I am, what I want and where I am going. But I now realize that I don’t have to put on…

Camilla Rose

A lost 20-something trying to find her place in the world .

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